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fickle little heart

12/12/2017

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Oh, fickle heart
How you fail me!
To you I’m supposed to listen
Follow you, I’m told
I’m beginning to think
You don’t even have a clue
 
You can get me to burn
You’re good at that
Blazing and soaring in an instant
At the direction of your choosing
And when the rest of me catches up
That fire is gone, moving to
The next elusive destination
To be fueled, yet
Never catching the warmth of the light
 
You’re deceptive too
Painting longings like billowing shadows
Never measuring upon the touch
And if I ever get it in my grasp
It looks nothing like you said

And indecisive you are
Redirecting
Redirecting
Redirecting
You're a terrible navigator
Distracting me from my purpose
By leading me down the winding backroads
That never arrive at my destination
 
So, my fickle dear you see
We can’t go on like this any longer
I know I can’t deny you completely
For you are the source of the depths
Of my soul, the well from which love
Springs forth, the reason I feel
Anything.
 
But today I’m putting you back
Where you belong
 
You are no longer my ears
Jumping impulsively to vain words
Causing me to act on your volition 
No, I will be listening to a much softer voice
That whispers the truth in love
One that gently leads down the true path
Which my soul so earnestly seeks
And heeds soft warnings that protect
Me...and you
 
Heart, you can no longer be my feet
Running full speed into whims of fancy
No, I’m planting them like a tree
Beside the water in Holy trust
 
You aren't my hands either
Grasping for love in achieving, performing,
Making, and doing
No, I’m lifting these hands in surrender
To the one who is Love eternally
 
And heart, fickle heart
Get out of my head!
Stop derailing my God-given logic
And the truths I Know to be 
Whenever you happen to “feel” like it
No.
Today, I’m taking every thought captive

 
You’ve overstepped your boundaries
I need you to be still
And not speak unless spoken to
Because like a child screaming
At the top of his lungs in tantrum
You have demanded all my attention
And I just. Can’t. Anymore.
 
You’re deceitful.
impatient.
fickle.
 
But don’t lose heart
There will be times I need you
To show up in all of your glory
Wide open
Tender and vulnerable
To do what you do best
With all the passion and love
In your being
And then it will be beautiful!
It will be right!
 
Until then
Sit still
Be strong
And trust
That this is best for both of us.
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    Author

    Hey! My name is Andrea. I'm a teacher by day in a small Texas town, but in every other aspect of my life, I consider myself a learner.  This blog is about life: learning through experiences, sharing through stories, and growing through faith. 

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